painting {therapy}

{Today marks a new day}

We are officially {done} with our adoption paper work.
We are now just waiting to clear immigration and then will be free to travel - we're hoping May!

{woooooo hoooooo!!!}

Man this has been a trip! I know its not over - in fact really its just beginning...but it still feels so good to be finished with the mounds of papers to be filled out, documents to be found, doctors to visit, friends & family, banks & doctors to notarize forms, shots, passports, hours of classes, fingerprinting....done.

Aaaaah :)

So, this evening I found myself in a quiet house. Boys were in bed, hubby's working, I had just sent Haley off to bed after enjoying a late night cup of tea with her.
...I was feeling like my brain was a bit fried.
With our adoption (and I would assume with most) everything must be exactly 'so'.
No: if's, and's or but's.
My time has been spent pouring over pages of directions and instructions on how to fill out a single form. No room for error. No room for mistakes.

Ugh.
All day my mind keeps going over everything I can think of -- certainly I've forgotten something...? Can we really be this close to done?!

So I picked up a paintbrush, turned on some music and refilled my tea...
I am NOT a painter. At all. But what's interesting is I had all my supplies - canvas, brushes and paint - all tucked away in the corner of my office...I must have subconsciously known this day would come and I would need an evening of painting therapy...

While letting my creativity and mind go, I couldn't help but think about my daughters and when this is finished, hanging it in their bedroom...

{update}!!!!!!

What an amazing night. {really I could just stop right there!!}

I don't think either one of us actually anticipated the type of support that we have been bathed in! In short, its been overwhelming...

{I} truthfully never imagined that our family would be able to gather so many people that would clear their schedules, to come out and support our family. It was like a wedding. Only better! And 11 years later -- and when life is So so much sweeter. :)

January 29th we had a wine tasting fundraiser to help bring our daughter, Zefina home from Zambia, Africa. It was held at Apex in Woodinville, they were wonderfully generous in donating all proceeds from the wine sales that night.  Apex is also where the story of our daughters name began...that will be another post, or a part of our Lifetime movie special as someone suggested - haha! :)

Our fundraising goal that night was to raise $10,000 towards the minimum of $25,000 needed to go get Zefina and make an impact in the lives of countless other kids in Zambia, Africa.  Over 150 of our closest friends, families and strangers attended the event or gave online raising a total of $5,000 profit that night!!!  AMAZING!  It was so cool to see so many of YOU committed to our adoption and the partnership with a Zambian community.  Even more exciting to think of how many people were there that night who are also in the adoption process, open to thinking about it or are just now wrapping their minds around the WHAT IF?

Thank You doesn't seem like quite enough to express our deep gratitude to each and every one of you. YOU have made a great difference, in the life of our little girl and our family, and in the lives of countless children- that truthfully could not survive without you.

 It's not too late! You can still make an incredible impact on a little life.

Donate.

Donate what you feel led. You have an amazing opportunity to be an infants saving grace between life or death. {It can be done quickly and safely by clicking the "Donate Now" button at the top of this blog}

More updates on progress to come.  Thank you all so much!

Chris, Carlee, Haley, Tanner, Carter & Zefina

{journey} to our daughter

We are so excited to share our journey of adoption to our daughter.

This journey began in May of 2009 after I {Carlee} took a trip to Thailand in efforts to fight Human Trafficking. It became clear to both Chris and I, that our 4th child was to be through adoption. After two more trips to Thailand to help fight Human Trafficking as well as trips to an orphanage, our ability to adopt from Thailand was stopped due to the strict Thai governments rules and regulations. Our hearts were broken for these children, and the heartache continued as those doors were slammed shut.

Within weeks of learning a Thai adoption was impossible, a friend of ours told us about children in Zambia, Africa.

In the coming days and weeks, God made it very clear that this was His route to our little girl.

During the summer of 2010, we began gathering any information we could on Zambian adoptions, there was little to be found. Early in September we found a private homestudy agency here in Seattle, Wa and have since been going hard after our 'babies'.

Yes, babies...
God has revealed to us over this time that he would like us to be prepared that he may ask us to adopt two siblings.   

We are overjoyed as we anticipate to travel to Zambia late May, 2011. We are blessed to be able to take our children Haley, Tanner and Carter on this life changing journey as well! We plan to immerse ourselves in the Zambian culture and serve in the local community.

We were connected with an amazing woman who runs three rescue homes for abandoned infants, orphans and young children in crisis.  They also provide assistance to local families, offer free education to children who cannot attend school due to family poverty, and provide infant formula to babies at risk of abandonment or starvation.  When a birth mother has lost a battle to HIV/Aids or dies due to birth complications, it is all too common to bury her baby just a few days later, the families left with the infants may be too poor to provide the proper nutrition - leading to death within days or dropping the babies at these homes - which creates another orphan and need.  Through this program, they have seen children, families and communities thrive! We're excited to partner in these efforts and help by serving, delivering and donating to the program during our estimated 4-6 week stay in Zambia as we wait for our adoption process to be completed.

Will you be a part of our journey and partner with our family in bringing our daughter(s) home?

We're excited to continue sharing our journey so please check back for updated blogs!


Love,
Chris, Carlee and the kids!

my {heart} in his pocket

I must share a conversation I just had with my 7 year old, Carter.

It began with a simple question:

Mom, have I always had a twirl in my head?
Yes hun.
Wow! So I'll probably have it until I die.
You'll have it even after you die!
Uh - One more question...
Yes?
Will the world come to an end?
Yes! When Jesus comes down from Heaven to take all of his believers back up with him.
Yeah, but we can't see him when he comes down...
I don't know if we'll be able to see him or not - we'll have to wait and see.
Well you know how we don't take our bodies to heaven - just our hearts go - so he'll probably just put our hearts in his pocket or something - and take us up that way (completely sure of his answer).
Hmmm...
Uh, Mom? One more thing -
Yes?
Did you know that in heaven we wont get any scratches!
Yes I did know that! Very cool, huh!?
Uh - one more question -
Yes?
Do we sleep in heaven?
Nope! Because we won't get tired!
Wow! We're going to be awake for a long time!!

Who would have thought this is what goes through this boys head - all while matching socks! :)

{still}

Wow. 
A lot has changed since my last post.
A lot.

Our family has been in the process of...well, lets call it an update, revamp, rejuvenation. We've gone into sort of a hibernation. And we're loving it. All of us!

We've taken this season in our life to be still. And if you know anything about me - then you know that is HARD for me. To be honest, I think I took it harder than the kids when we decided no soccer this season, I mean really, that's my social time too!

We've said no.
Turned things down.
Backed out.
And hunkered down.

It has been SO healthy for our family!
I have learned (for the first time) that saying no is actually OK. People won't hate me or think I'm horrible for not being able to do something... I'm liking this!

The kids are thriving.
We're not racing home from school, shoving a snack in their face and racing off to {3} practices all over town, to have dinner on the road, home at 8, homework, then bed...
They're calm. Relaxed.
They love "rock time"- time as a family vegging in front of the tv.
They crave that time.
It's their down time.

Why did we not go into hibernation a long time ago?!

Hmmm, the {calm} before the {storm}.

I am so ready for the {storm}!!

Where to start...

{View over Pattaya from my room}

I think, think, I have some sort of words for what I experienced in Pattaya, Thailand. This whole experience has been an emotional roller-coaster. Everything I felt, heard, smelled, tasted... it assaulted my every sense. I knew I was sheltered...but this much? How was I so completely clueless that something so horrific was going on in my world? It rocked my world - turned it upside-down. 2 second blips of moments, images, experiences, smells - roll constantly through my mind, even while I sleep. I haven't been able to escape it or shake it.....But I don't think I want too. I want to remember the eyes I looked into; I want to remember the unforgiving humidity; I want to remember the noises that haunt me; I want to remember the lives that have been sold; I want to remember the hope that is being given; I want to remember the lives that are being changed; I want to remember the generation that is being transformed. I will not forget. I will not turn my back. I have never been so ready to go to war.

{Walking Street}
It is so difficult to even begin to explain everything - even in a way so that you may have a hint of an idea of what is going on over there. Even for Chris - the first night I was home, we were sitting on the couch after we had put the kids to bed, he pulled out my camera and began flipping through the images..."So is that a prostitute? Is that a prostitute...?" After the 10th time of asking that same question, I put down the camera and said - you don't get it: everyone you see is for sale. It is right there - in your face. But it's illegal. ILLEGAL. HOW IS THIS OK?

{Walking Street}

There is SO MUCH MORE. But I think this is all I can do for today. Processing these images, alone, has been heart-wrenching. I find myself sobbing just looking at them. But I am constantly reminded of why I am fighting for these people. They need me. I can do this. WE can do this!

This song was written in a bar in Pattaya.
About Pattaya.
It is so true!

Bible & Wii

In the car this morning, coming home from dropping the kids off at school - Carter perks up from the back seat:

"Mom, do you know how to turn on the Wii?"

"Uh, yes." [I know your sick buddy, but really, where have you been?!]

"So you know how the Bible says 'think of others first'?"

"heh, yes." [ok, switching gears. but seriously buddy, I know your sick - trust me, I took you to the hospital on Mothers Day where they thought you had Meningitis...I know the 'others first' bit - you don't have to use it on me just so I'll turn on the Wii for you!]

"well, I'm gonna play on Dad's wii so I can open new games for him. Isn't that a great idea?! He'll be so happy when he plays it again and more things are open for him!" (In his laryngitis-y/swollen shut throat, totally stuffed up face/nose - dripping green goo and blood shot puppy dog eyes - voice)

"Oh, ok - I think that's a great way to think of someone else first!"

You gotta admit - the kid is smart!

Now tell me you wouldn't turn on the Wii for that?!!